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About Cluj-Napoca

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle out there, like me stuck in this damn elevator with horny strangers all day. One time, I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill fer a threesome,” then bam—match with twins! TWINS, ya’ll! “Don’t be a pussy, get in there!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, hypin’ myself up. Didn’t happen, tho—fuckin’ catfished by some loser. Made me rage so hard I punched the elevator buttons—broke the damn 3rd floor one, oops.

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After that, I take a break. I hit up this little café on Strada Libertății. You know the one? They’ve got the best cozonac. I grab a slice, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when this kid runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the parade?” I’m like, “What parade?” Apparently, there’s some festival happening down by the park.

Four Killed In Blast At Romanian Munitions Factory