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But surprises? Oh yeah, heard this wild bit—17th century, French docs used “massage” to chill hysterics—sexual ones, wink wink! Worked, they say, better than pills! Crazy, right? Me, I’d take that over some shrink yappin’. Love it when they hit that spot—ooh, tension gone, like “poof”! Favorite movie line fits here, “God sees everything”—ha, hope he’s laughin’ at my goofy grin after!

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First off, I’m running late for a meeting. Classic me. I grab my coffee from that tiny café on Strada Călărași. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Dude, just give me the usual.” But today, he’s all out of beans! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, how do you run out of coffee? It’s like a bakery running out of bread.

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