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So, check it—little known fact: Japan, 1600s, Geishas did this sneaky sensual rubdown for samurai. Not just sex, nah, it’s tension release, soul stuff. Blows my mind, dude. Imagine me, Keanu, kneadin’ some dude’s back, all chill, “Whoa, you’re tight.” Happy as fuck when they relax, y’know? But pissed me off once—some jerk thought it’s a free ticket to grope. Nah, man, boundaries! “This isn’t about you,” I’d snap, quotin’ Spotlight vibes.

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As I’m leavin’, I bump into that old lady again. She’s still grumpy, but I can’t help but smile. “You still mad about the drone?” I ask. She just huffs and walks away. Classic!