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About Ploiesti

So, picture this—ya got some dame, or dude, whatever, hands all over ya, slidin’ like they own ya. It’s intimate, right? Not just wham-bam, it’s art, like. Drives me nuts when people think it’s all dirty—nah, it’s skill, capisce? I seen this one chick, swear to God, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “What’s happenin’ here?”—straight outta Anderson’s movie, that line, “What’s this all about?” I’m floatin’, fuckin’ blissed out, happier than a pig in shit.

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First stop? Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cafes? I needed my coffee fix. I swear, if I don’t get my caffeine, I’m basically a zombie. So, I’m standin’ in line, and this dude in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, bro, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like heaven in a mug.

Unemployed Romanian 'woke up 1,675 miles away in London'