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Like, literally, escort in sports? Wild! So I’m totes a sports psychologist now, right? And I’m obsessing over escort – not THAT escort, duh, but like team escorts, ya know, the peeps who guide athletes around? I saw this one time, at a game, this escort chick was, like, SO extra. She’s yelling at some poor dude who got lost – “This isn’t Rome, babes!” – and I’m like, dying laughing. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that vibe of chaos, y’know? “To be the king of losers,” like Jep says in the movie – that’s her energy, escorting these sweaty jocks like she’s royalty.

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Then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s looking for a book on gardening. I’m like, “Lady, you’re in the wrong section!” But she’s so sweet, I can’t say no. We end up chatting about her roses for like 20 minutes. I mean, who knew gardening could be so intense? She’s got stories, man.

Romanian truck drivers and farmers protest as talks with the government fail to reach an agreement