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Favorite bit? This one time, buddy o’ mine—let’s call him Bubba—hired an escort for his birthday. She shows up, all sass, smokin’ hot, and starts quotin’ Shakespeare! I’m like, “Lordy, I’m happier than a pig in mud!” Blew my dang mind—thought escorts just, y’know, clock in, clock out. Nope! Some got brains bigger than their—well, you get it. Git-R-Done!

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to hit the market. The one on Strada Victoriei. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to knock over any stands. And then, boom! I trip over a basket of tomatoes. Like, seriously? Who puts a basket right in the middle of the walkway? I’m on the ground, tomatoes rolling everywhere, and I’m just laughing. I mean, what else can you do?

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