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Me? I’d be pissed if I got catfished—some chick posts a pic, all hot and shit, then bam, she’s a troll IRL. Like, “I ate octopus alive for this?!”—straight outta *Oldboy*. Happened to a buddy once—swore she was 25, turned out 50. Greed blinded him, man. But when it works? Oh, fuck yeah—happy as a pig in shit. Last time, this girl—legs for days—knew her worth, charged double. I’m like, “You’re tearing me apart!”—dramatic as hell, but I paid. Worth it.

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I bolt outta there, and I’m sprinting down Rua da Lapa. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I get to the castle, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just trying to soak it all in. The view from up there? Breathtaking. You can see the whole city, the vineyards, the hills. It’s like a postcard, man.

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