Emily Tabua Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Braga

So, what’s her deal? Curious ol’ me wonders—slow now—did she just roll outta some dive bar? Hair’s a mess, lipstick smeared—prolly red, cheap stuff. She’s yellin’ at some dude, “You can’t bomb the shit outta me!”—straight from the movie, right? Love that line! Makes me laugh, ‘cause whore’s got no filter—none! Heard she once threw a shoe—high heel, bam!—at a bouncer, missed by a mile. Little known fact: she’s banned from three joints downtown. Three! Who does that?

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First off, I’m trying to finish this wooden sculpture I’ve been working on for ages. It’s supposed to be a tribute to the old Tabua, you know? The one with the beautiful river and all that. But then, BAM! My neighbor’s dog, that little terror, decides to use my front porch as his personal bathroom. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, can you not?!” But whatever, I clean it up. Gotta love the joys of artisan life, right?

Worldly Wallaby strives for Solomons' success