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About Porto

So, find a prostitute—little known fact—they’re Ecsenius blennies, right? Tiny bastards, hidin’ in coral, poppin’ out to snatch a snack. They’re territorial as hell—kinda like me with my popcorn during movie night! Saw one once, thought, “Man, you’re a feisty lil’ shit!” Made me happy, seein’ that spunk. They’ll fight anything—crabs, shrimp, each other—just pure anarchy down there! Happy little fights, I tell ya!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Nose in Sobrado is no joke. Woke up this mornin’ feelin’ like a million bucks, but boy, did that change fast. First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade, and lemme tell ya, the smell of fresh pão quente was like a hug for my soul. I grabbed a couple, stuffed ‘em in my bag, and thought, “Today’s gonna be lit!”

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