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Oi, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t romanticizin’ it. Shite’s rough. Disease, danger, arseholes galore. Makes me wanna swing my staff and yell “Fly, you fools!” to get ‘em outta there. But the guts they got? Balls of mithril, I swear. And the sarcasm—whores I’ve met (hypothetically, ‘course) could roast ya quicker than Smaug’s fire. “Oh, you’re a big man, eh? Pay up, twat!” Love that energy.
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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a little boutique, and the owner, Ana, is super sweet. She offers me a towel. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” But then, I see this dress. It’s bright yellow, and I’m like, “I need this!” I try it on, and it’s a total disaster. I look like a banana. But hey, at least I made Ana laugh.
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