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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the community meeting.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then he tells me it’s been moved to the park by the river. I’m like, “Awesome! Fresh air!” So, I rush over to the Parque da Ribeira.