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Gets me goin, though – happy as a pig in muck! Hands kneadin, soft whispers, bit of a fumble – who wouldn’t be chuffed? But, Christ alive, what pisses me off? Them prudes bangin on, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to that, I say – *vivat libertas*! Let folk enjoy what they fancy! Surprised me, too, first time I heard some masseuse in Soho got nicked for it – poor lass, just tryna make a quid! Made me proper sad, that did.

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Then I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It was like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there was a surprise festival planned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? But no one told me! I felt like I missed the memo. So, I’m wandering around, trying to find some food.