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I spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a corner. “Hey, sugar, need a ride?” I say, smooth as velvet. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “Groovy, baby, this is it!” But then—bam!—some creep rolls up, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell, man! I’m like, “Leave her be, ya git!” Reminds me of *A Prophet*—that scene where Malik’s like, “I run this now.” Power shifts, y’know?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my cozy little flat on Rua da Liberdade, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Portugal reports outbreak of bird flu on farm near Lisbon