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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

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So, I’m dodging these dudes with hard hats, and I’m already late for my meeting at the café on Avenida da Liberdade. I’m sprinting, like, full-on Olympic style, and I trip over a loose cobblestone. Ugh! My coffee dreams are slipping away! I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why do I even bother?”

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