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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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We start talking about his portfolio, and he’s all worried about the stock market. I’m trying to calm him down, but then he drops this bomb: “I wanna invest in crypto.” I’m like, “Dude, are you serious? You know it’s a rollercoaster, right?” But he’s convinced. I mean, who am I to crush dreams? So, I give him the lowdown, but inside, I’m screaming.

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