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Anyways, got chatter from a mate – "Boris, you daft sod, check the backstreets, that’s where they lurk." Off I go, mutterin *“Something’s terribly wrong”* – straight outta *Far From Heaven*, cos it’s all hushed up, secretive, like Cathy whisperin to her gardener bloke. Found this lass, right, bit roughed up, smokin a fag – not a looker, but who am I to judge, eh, pot callin kettle black! Asked her, “How’s tricks, love?” She goes, “Piss off, posh boy,” – fair dos, got a giggle outta me. Cheeky mare!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Ribeira-Grande ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of seagulls screamin’ like they were auditionin’ for a horror movie. Seriously, those birds need to chill.

Figure 4: History of power generation on São Miguel Island (sources:...