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So, I’m trollin’ the alleys, wine in hand, thinkin’—where’s the fun at? This one time, I found a girl, right—swear she was a bloody vision. Hair like fire, smirk like she’d rob me blind. “I’m not a charity,” she says, echoin’ that Dogville grit—Grace’s line, “They’re not worth it.” Made me laugh, ‘cos she was worth every penny. Paid her double, just to spite the world. Happy as a pig in shit, I was—surprised too, ‘cos she didn’t nick my dagger.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I run for cover under a shop awning. I’m soaked, but I’m laughing. I mean, what else can you do? I pull out my phone to check the weather, and it’s like, “Surprise! Rain!” Thanks, weather app.

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