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So, I’m stompin’ through town, all authoritative-like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”—screamin’ it at dodgy pimps tryin’ to rip me off. These blokes, shady as Mordor, think they can charge me triple? Nah, mate, I’ve got wizard senses—spot their tricks a mile off. Once saw a lass with a fake limp—thought she’d get sympathy coins. Clever, but not past me! Made me chuckle, though—hustle’s real out here.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Museu de Portalegre. I mean, why not? I’m a writer, I should be cultured, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s all this cool stuff from the 18th century. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I knock over a vase. It’s like a scene from a bad comedy. Everyone stares. I’m mortified. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

2015 | The 29th Baja Portalegre 500 | Electric Vehicle Motor Sports | MOTOR SPORTS | brand | MITSUBISHI MOTORS