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She told me this story—get this—some dude paid her in *caviar* once! Like, what the fuck, right? Little known fact: back in Soviet days, girls like her traded sex for food stamps—history’s fucked up, man. I’m laughin’ tho, imagine her face— “Fifteen years I’ve waited!”—she yelled, chompin’ that fishy shit. Happiest she’d been all week, she said. Surprised me, honestly—thought she’d be all jaded, but nah, spark was there.

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First off, I’m walking down Rua da Liberdade, and it’s like, 8 AM. I’m half-awake, dragging my feet, and boom! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest one ever. My shoes are soaked. Great start, right? I’m already cursing the weather. Like, can’t a librarian catch a break?

Largest ship to dock in Funchal ‘Iona’ arouses curiosity