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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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First off, I got to the house on Rua da Liberdade. Super cute street, but the kids? Ugh, they were bouncing off the walls. I swear, I thought I was babysitting a pack of wild monkeys. Like, how much sugar did they have for breakfast?

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