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I’m thinkin, how’s this work? Hit up a site, cash flies, “One million dollars!” – pinky up, obvs. But nah, it’s cheaper, like 50 quid sometimes. Made me happy, cos I ain’t loaded, but surprised too – thought it’d be pricier! Then Fear kicks in, like, “What if it’s a sting?” Heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total *Inside Out* chaos in my skull. Once knew a bloke who got catfished – paid up, got a dude instead! Laughed my arse off, poor sod.

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He drags me to this stall, and I see it. The most beautiful lamb fur I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m drooling. But then, this guy swoops in and tries to buy it. I’m like, “No way, man! That’s mine!” We start arguing, and it’s getting heated. I’m ready to throw down over some fur!

Shark attack! Man LOSES leg after being RIPPED APART while swimming