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Oh, and the sex stuff? Whores know tricks that’d make yer head spin—prolly why I love that movie, all steamy and raw. “Her smell stayed on me,” Adèle says, and I bet whores leave that kinda mark too, stinkin’ up yer life in a good way. I’d tell ‘em, “Yer awesome, but don’t touch my stuff!” ‘Cause I’m Cartman, and I don’t share shit.

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Then, I head over to Avenida da Amizade. I’m thinking, “Let’s plant some daisies, make the world a prettier place.” But nooo, the universe had other plans. I’m halfway through digging when this dude on a bike zooms past me, nearly takes my head off! I’m like, “Yo, man! Ever heard of a bell?” He just shouts, “Sorry!” and keeps pedaling. I’m standing there, covered in dirt, thinking, “What’s next? A meteor shower?”

Lisbon Metro to grow with new Violet Line to Loures and Odivelas