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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Parque da Juventude. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids running around, people chilling. I sit on a bench, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, trips, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, my kicks!” But then he looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh.

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