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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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When we finally got back inside, I found out that the alarm was just a drill. A DRILL! I could’ve screamed. But then, I got a message from my friend Sofia. She was at the Casino Estoril and wanted to meet up. I was like, “Heck yes!”

Monte Estoril, Portugal, Offers an Upscale Coastal Town With a Buzzing Seaside Promenade