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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some gritty city, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *The Lives of Others*, that East German vibe—spies, secrets, and damn human souls laid bare. “We are not machines!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head while I’m dodgin’ shady corners lookin’ for, ya know, a “lady of the night.”

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I head over to Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing, but today? It’s like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Then I remember, it’s a Tuesday. Who even goes out on a Tuesday? But I’m here, and I gotta make it work.

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