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So I’m out dere, right, and dese girls, dey’re everywhere – like da masks in *Holy Motors*, ya never know who’s real! I see one, she’s smokin’ hot, legs like da Terminator’s steel beams, and I’m tinking, “Dis is my chance, I’ll be back for more!” But den – bam! – some sleazy pimp rolls up, all “Who are you, monsieur?” like dat creepy line from da film. I’m pissed, man! I wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!” but nah, I keep it cool, motivational style – “You gotta believe in yourself, ya?”

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Then, right after that, I get a call from this lady on Avenida de Portugal. She’s crying about her lost dog. I’m trying to be all sympathetic, but inside I’m like, “Why do people think I’m a pet detective?” I mean, I love dogs, but I can’t exactly go chasing after them. I tell her to check the local parks, maybe he’s sniffing around.

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