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About Lisbon

Worst part? When they rush it—slapdash, no soul, like a fish floppin’ outta water. Pisses me off, fam! Gotta be smooth, intentional—make it an art, not a hustle. Oh, and don’t sleep on coconut oil—slippery, smells fire, 10/10. Pro tip: dim the lights, set the mood, or it’s a bust. YOLO, why half-ass it?

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Praia? It’s got all the fresh fish and fruits. I’m there, trying to grab some bananas, and this old dude just cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m not invisible! I mean, come on, it’s not a race! I was ready to throw a banana at him, but I just rolled my eyes instead. Classic Machico, right?

Lord of Miracles procession takes to the streets of Machico today