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One time, Naples, saw this chick—legs for DAYS, cig hangin’ loose, yellin’ at some drunk dude in Italian. Thought, “She’s a BOSS!” Turns out, she’d been workin’ since 14—FOURTEEN, yo! Pissed me OFF—world’s fucked, lettin’ kids do that. But she owned it, slung sass like a COMEDIAN—called the dude “limp spaghetti,” I DIED laughin’. Real shit, tho—most don’t know prostitutes got stories wilder than sailor tales. Some chick in Singapore? Used to be a NUN—swear to GOD! Fell for a sailor, ditched the habit, now she’s bangin’ for bucks. Surprised me—nuns to NASTY? Life’s a TRIP!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up a café on Avenida José da Costa Mealha. Got a pastel de nata, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. Flaky, creamy, just the right amount of sweetness. I was in my happy place again.

Loulé will "get rid" of PAEL by the end of 2014 and lower the IMI in 2015