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But – plot twist, mate – she’s pricey, like, ten quid! Ten bleedin’ quid! I’m gobsmacked, nearly choked on me ciggie. “Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I’m that,” she snaps, quotin’ “Memento” vibes again – respect, girl! Had to haggle, got her down to a fiver, bargain, baby! Felt like a spy, dodgin’ traps, livin’ the dream.

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Finally, we pull over, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s take a breather.” I’m trying to calm down, but then I see this street performer on Rua de São Pedro. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but not as cool as not crashing my car!”

A Closer Look at Ginger & Jagger