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Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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Finally, I’m done with him, and I’m ready for my next student. This one’s a lady named Ana. She’s cool, but she’s got a lead foot. We’re zooming down Rua da Liberdade again, and I’m like, “Slow down, Speed Racer!” She laughs, but I’m serious. I’m not ready to become a hood ornament.

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