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About Vila Nova de Gaia

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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So, I’m outta there, tryin’ to shake off the coffee drama. I head down to the river, right by the Parque da Cidade. The water’s lookin’ nice, but then I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie or somethin’. I’m just tryin’ to do my thing, but they keep photobombing me! Like, dude, I’m not part of your Instagram story!

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