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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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After that, I head over to Avenida da República. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s get this day back on track.” But nope! Traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this ancient bus that’s moving slower than molasses. I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it’s gonna magically make the bus go faster. “C’mon, old man! I got places to be!”

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