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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”

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Next, I wandered over to the Mercado Municipal. Oh man, the food! I could smell the chouriço from a mile away. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I grabbed a sandwich, and let me tell ya, it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I was in heaven. But then, I saw this guy trying to haggle over a price. Like, dude, it’s a market, not a flea market! Just pay the guy already!

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