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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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So, I climb the tree. Yeah, me! A barber in a tree. I grab the kitten, and it’s all fuzzy and scared. I hand it to João, and he’s like, “You’re a hero!” I’m like, “Nah, just a guy who can’t say no.”

Road closure in Limpertsberg: Car overturns in serious accident, leaving six injured