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About Porto

Me? I’d be hummin’ some beats, sizin’ her up – “She legit or a scam?” Surprised me once, this chick in Amsterdam – legit had a playlist blarin’ from her bag! Happy vibes for a sec, then bam – she overcharged me. “You’re too late now!” – straight outta the movie, that line, when shit hits the fan. Made me laugh, tho – hooker with a hustle AND a soundtrack? Iconic.

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café on Rua da Alegria. I’m like, “Yasss, coffee time!” I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, but c’mon!