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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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After coffee, I’m back in the workshop, and I’m feeling it. I’m carving the wood, and it’s like magic. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this guy on a bike, totally wiped out. I’m like, “Dude, are you okay?” He’s fine, just a little bruised ego. But it’s a reminder that life’s unpredictable, ya know?

Volta a Portugal em Bicicleta 2015: Stage 7 Results