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Sarcasm? Oh, brill idea, mate, let’s all pop down the red-light district for a laugh! Seriously, tho, it’s a jungle – you gotta be sharp or you’re fucked. “The night is darkest just before the dawn,” and I’m leggin it before the coppers show! Informative? Stick to the shadows, watch your wallet, and don’t be a twat – that’s your lot! Now sod off, I’m done!

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But then, out of nowhere, my colleague Sofia bursts in. She’s like, “Let’s take a break! The beach is calling!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I can’t just ditch work!” But she’s persistent. “C’mon, it’s Cascais! You’ll regret it!”

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