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Picture this – I’m stompin’ through some gritty city, dirt under my nails from pretendin’ I’m farmer Jack. “Where’s the sea?” – straight outta the movie, ‘cept I’m yellin’, “Where’s the action?!” Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – I’m peekin’ round corners, eyein’ the streets. Prostitutes ain’t growin’ on trees, ya know? Learned that the hard way – once asked a cop where the “ladies” hang. Guy nearly cuffed me! Laughed my ass off later.

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Then, I decide to head to the market at Rua 1º de Maio. I’m thinking fresh fruits, maybe some cheese. But nooo, it’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m elbowing my way through, trying to grab some apples, and this old lady just shoves me aside. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a warrior, not a doormat!” But whatever, I let it slide. I grab my apples and bounce.

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