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About Funchal

Now, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal—nah, it’s art, mate. Little known fact: ancient Tantric vibes kicked this off, like 5,000 years back. Indians knew the score—energy, release, the lot. Makes me happy as a pig in muck, but lemme tell ya, finding a legit spot? Pissed me off once—some dodgy geezer in Soho tried charging me double, no skill, hands like sandpaper. I was fuming—wanted to say, “You’re a dead man, pal,” but I’m too smooth for that.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on Avenida da República!” I’m thinking, “Really? I’m drowning in spreadsheets here!” But Miguel’s got this way of convincing you. So, I took a break.

Figure 5: Philydor novaesi Teixeira & Gonzaga, 1983, Alagoas...