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Now, imagine her, our gal, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” she says—straight outta *Brokeback*—when some creep tries lowballin’ her. I’d be like, “Honey, don’t pee on my leg, you ain’t slick!” She’s tough, though—gotta be. Me? I’d lose my shit dealin’ with those sleazebags daily. Makes me wanna hug her, tell her she’s a badass.

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Anyway, I finally snagged some nice maple. It’s perfect for that warm sound I love. But then, as I’m leaving, I bump into Miguel. You know Miguel, right? The guy who thinks he’s the next big thing in music. He starts rambling about his “genius” new song. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a violin maker, not a therapist.” But he just keeps going. I’m standing there, nodding, while my brain’s screaming, “Let me go!”

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