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About Queluz

Little known fact, y’all—back in the day, them old-timey prostitues used to carry lil’ fans to signal they was “available.” This gal ain’t need no fan, though—her hips was doin’ all the talkin’! Surprised me, too, ‘cause she had this scar on her cheek, real faint, like a story she ain’t tellin’. Made me wonder, y’know? What’s her “Tenenbaum tale”? Was she a runaway? A mama tryna feed her babies? I’m over here bakin’ pies, and she’s out there dodgin’ cops—two diff’rent worlds, chile!

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Then, I get a call on the radio. “We need backup at Rua da Liberdade!” What? I’m like, “What’s happening now?” So, I rush over, dodging people and balloons. Turns out, some kids were playing football, and they kicked it into a shop window. Classic! The shopkeeper was fuming, yelling in Portuguese like it was the end of the world. I mean, it’s just a window, right?

Best and Brightest: Dylan Barcelos