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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta “12 Years a Slave”. You got these apps, right? Swipe this, swipe that—bam, ya hooked up! But half the time, it’s a damn scam, like Platt gettin’ sold into hell. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Ain’t this some shit?” People out here lyin’ bout their pics, their jobs—fakakta nonsense! Makes me wanna whack somebody, I swear.

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Then, I head over to the Parque de Baiao. Beautiful place, right? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me with a soccer ball. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy the view of the Douro River, and I get tackled by a five-year-old. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!”

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