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About Almada

What gets me happy? When she screws up. Once, she tried bribin’ me—ME!—with a half-assed wink and a “You’re not like them.” I’m like, “Save it, doll, I’ve seen better acting in porno.” She sulks, and I’m cacklin’ inside—finally, a crack in her armor. Surprised me how dumb she played it, though—thought she’d be slicker. Guess even whores slip.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into my buddy, Miguel. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me about this time he tried to charm a snake for a spell and ended up getting bitten. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my oranges.