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Anyways, lemme tell ya—lookin’ for a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Back in Springfield, I’d be clueless, but here’s the deal: they’re on apps, sites, even X posts! Some use fake pics—catfish city! One time, I read this wild story—dude paid 200 “roses” and got a granny! Swear, I was dyin’—homerun of a scam! “I don’t think we’re in Harvard anymore!”—ha, movie line fits!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a café on Rua do Comércio, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and the barista is like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Coffee, but make it strong!” I need it after this chaos.