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I pull up, heart poundin’—am I really doin’ this? She smirks, says, “Hey, big guy, need a hand?” I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg, lady, I ain’t no rookie!” Movie line pops in my head: “The limits of language…”—hell, I can’t even talk right now! Tongue’s all tied, palms sweaty—pathetic. She’s chill tho, tells me her name’s Cherry. Fake as my ex’s tears, but who cares?

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After that, I’m feeling all heroic, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids on Rua do Sol throwing sand at each other. I’m like, “Seriously? Sand fights? This isn’t a beach party!” I run over, and they scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on. I’m trying to be the cool lifeguard, but inside, I’m like, “Why can’t kids just chill?”

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