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About Queluz

Oi mate, so I’m a bloody Nose now, sniffing out the good stuff! sexual-massage, eh? What a racket! Picture this – some oily git, hands all over ya, thinking he’s God’s gift to relaxation. I reckon it’s half sleaze, half genius – slippery as a pig in shit, innit? Been watching *A Prophet* again, that gritty French masterpiece, and it’s got me thinking – sexual-massage is like Malik’s prison hustle. “You gotta learn fast,” he says, and bloody hell, these masseuses do! One minute they’re kneading your back, next they’re whispering sweet nothings – cheeky sods.

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We’re in his garage, and it’s chaos. Tools everywhere, wood splinters flying. I’m trying to help, but I’m more of a “let’s drink wine” kinda guy, not a “let’s build stuff” guy. We end up with this lopsided rack that looks like it’s been through a tornado. I’m laughing so hard, I almost cry.

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