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About Porto

Here’s the kicker—did ya know in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Stand out from the “proper” ladies. Imagine that now—her with a neon wig, me cacklin’ like a madman. Made me happy, that mental image, coz it’s so absurd. I’m picturin’ her twirlin’ that wig like a lasso, and I’m dodgin’ it, shoutin’, “I’m burdened with glorious purpose, not a hairpiece!”

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But then, just when I’m gettin’ pumped, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stack of hay bales. I mean, come on! Who does that? I’m ready to lose it. But then I see the guy’s face. He’s just as shocked as I am. We both start laughin’. It’s ridiculous.

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