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About Porto

I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

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First stop, Avenida da Liberdade. I’m thinking, “Let’s hit up that cute little boutique.” You know the one, right? The one with the funky window displays? Yeah, that one. I stroll in, and boom! The owner, Maria, is having a meltdown. Like, full-on drama. Apparently, her delivery of those killer shoes got lost. I mean, c’mon! Who loses shoes? I felt her pain, but also, I was like, “Girl, I need those shoes for my client!”

Mama Baldé joins OL on loan until the end of the season