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Well, halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all ‘bout this sexual-massage mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Dogville,” that crazy Lars von Trier joint—Lord, that movie got me twisted! Ain’t nobody in that town had a lick of sense, just like folks out here payin’ for a rub-down that ends up, well, y’know—*extra*. Sexual-massage, honey, it’s like a dang ol’ secret handshake! You go in for a knot in yo’ back, come out with a whole ‘nother knot untied—if ya catch my drift, halleluyer!

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Alfragide had so many bookworms? I’m talking about the Biblioteca Municipal de Alfragide. It’s a cozy spot, but today? It was like a sardine can. Kids everywhere, running around, yelling. I’m like, “Guys, it’s a library, not a playground!” But hey, I get it. Kids love books, right?

Siemens is planning sale, leaseback of headquarters in Portugal