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Little known fact? Whore’s got this hidden cave, right? Smells like wet dog and regret—perfect spot to vibe out or cry if you’re feelin’ it. I sat there once, thinkin’, “Man, this mountain’s a hot mess, just like me.” It’s raw, unfiltered—ain’t no Instagram filter fixin’ Whore’s attitude. Oh, and the wind up there? Screams like a banshee—had me jumpin’, like, “Chill, Whore, I ain’t your ex!”

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. Parque da Cidade is so chill. I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee, and he totally misses. The frisbee smacks a tree and falls right at my feet. I can’t help but laugh out loud. Like, dude, you had one job!

Damien Oliver ‘conscious’ of Alenquer’s wellbeing in post-Melbourne Cup admission